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Turrs Saloon

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DC
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« on: May 19, 2006, 06:22:16 pm »

This is Gemmas Stary....wun dat she din gets a chance ta finish.....

The dust was blowin’ across the field and up to Turr’s Saloon. It was a hot n muggy day as Kim peeped out her window to see what was going on… she liked to sneak around and keep tabs on the goings on in the sleepy town of Blueball Gulch. Now if ya needed to know sumptin Kim was the one to yap with… she had her eyes and ears open all the time… just last week she had been keeping tabs on Zamba.. the new lady in town.

Zamba had rode in on the Rocky Road stage coach… all the way to town she heard the Driver going on bout a new boxcar business he was gonna setup down on the corner… Zamba had thought he was a little nutty til she looked up into his face and seen the hope in his eyes… How could she bust his bubble?? So she agreed that a box business could be a big seller and kept her thoughts to herself.. Zamba had no idea that Kim was peepin and writing down everything she had done in the last few days….She would never had known if someone hadn’t told her…

Now who could that someone be?? None other then Drummy.. the local vets.. he took care off all the cows, horses and asses in the county. His reputation was widely known all over the country.. after all he had invented his own cure-all which he sold to the prep H company… He sure was swimming in the dough!!! Once he had seen Kim stalkin Zamba he couldn’t just sit by and hope that nothing happened like the last time…
 

 
« Last Edit: May 20, 2006, 02:32:29 am by DC » Report Spam   Logged

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DC
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« Reply #1 on: May 19, 2006, 06:23:01 pm »

The town had barely recovered!! Only the fast action by Turr had managed to salvage anything to keep the town intact.. He had put out the fire and got the town Doctor.. Dr Boozi But no one had found out who was behind the dastardly deed.. and the town was still on full alert.. Who would shoot someone in the back and leave them for dead?? Who would start a fire in the backroom of the saloon??
Marshall Confusus was on the case, he had found a few clues but they didn’t fit together yet… he swore to get to the bottom of this… Confusus had questioned everyone in town but someone was not telling the truth… But he was not going to give up that easily…. He had grilled the piano player Salty more then most as Salty had closed up shop for Turr that night. Confusus had left no stone unturned.. He knew that it was just a matter of time when someone would slip up…
Meanwhile Zamba had decided she needed a job if she was gonna stay around.. She strolled over to the saloon and approached the dance hall girls Blue N Funnyface to see what kinda pay they was getting… Blue stopped and sat down as they filled Zamba in on the crappy pay but the good tips… “Just make sure ya toughen up yer arse.” Blue says, “them fellers pinch hard!!!”

Just the Jill the upstairs Madame approached Zamba.. “ya wanta work for me?? I’ll pay ya well and you can have the room to sleep in…”

Zamba looked up at Jill’s hair piled all up on top her head and her ruby red lipstick that was slightly smeared on her face…. She noticed Jill’s dress was not quite straightened and wondered if she could make a living working for Jill… then she saw the boots that Jill was wearing.. 4 inch heels and they climbed up her legs that high you couldn’t see where they ended… Zamba thought … I gotta get me a pair of those… And she accepted Jill’s job offer just like that….

Salty sat and sized up the women as he plunked on his piano keys.. Hmm how much fer the new girl he thought….

Now Kim had seen Zamba enter the saloon and she just had to know what was going on!! She sneaked across the street dodging horses and buggies..jumped the huge mud puddle and straddled the chair out front to get a better view… Kim strained her eyes to try N lip read what was being said but the windows hadn’t been washed in months and the dirt was too thick to get a good view.. Should she go inside and bust her cover.. Kim Wouldn’t risk it just yet.. she had things to do and in order to work well she had to stay hidden…..
Just as Kim backed away from the window River slapped her on the arse and scared the begebbers outta her…” ya wanta fool around,” he asked with a wink N a smile… Kim backed up and ducked around River to get away... She ran home that fast you’d have thought the devil himself was after her!!!
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« Reply #2 on: May 19, 2006, 06:24:07 pm »

River just shook his head and sauntered into the saloon… he walked and got a beer from Turr, who had been wiping the bar down with a wet rag…. The bar was filling up fast as evening was approaching… People were coming into town and the stage coach would be arriving any minute.. I better find me a gull River thought… just then a Butterfly floated in front of River and he thought.. I gotta have some of that….

Butterfly sat down at a table close to the door and River went over and pulled out a chair.. “hey little lady.. ya wanta fool around??” he asked as he sat down.. Butterfly was surprised at how upfront he was.. she laughed and told him to sit down and be good..
The saloon doors opened and in walked Driver.. his shift on the stage coach was done for anudder day and he was ready to unwind… he strolled up to the bar.. grabbed a beer and pulled out a chair at the poker table… “Deal me in boys,” he said and pulled out a wad of gum outta his pocket.. He started pattin his pockets lookin for his cash…. He finally found it under his hat fer safe keeping. The udder fellers chuckled at him and Boozie dealt the cards out… Drummy got up and straggled to the bathroom.. Guess he had one too many beers.. Isdaboy sat lookin at his cards and wondered where the hell Boozie had pulled them from… up his arse… cause they sure stank… Captain Tractor was sizing up his cards and decided to bid and try bluffin the other fellers… but Drummy came back and seen his hand…. no way was he dropping out with a flush…

Donna and Blue got up and started dancing while Salty played Roll out the barrel for them.. Just the Zamba came back downstairs all decked out in her pushup dress and fishnet hose.. her shoes was so high that she wobbled as she walked.. and she stumbled when her heel sunk into a knot hole in the floor.. Zamba staggered against the poker table and knocked it over into Drummy’s lap… Poor Drummy couldn’t believe his luck.. finally a good hand and it was ruined!!! He shoved the table up right and stompe up to the bar to grab another beer before he blew his top… Zamba was so embarrassed she ran back up the stairs to Madame Jill….

Drummy was chugging back his beer when Donna danced up to him… she winked and asked, “buy me a beer partner.” He thought about it and turned to Turr and said., “Pour up a beer fer her.” They was chattin and laughing when in came Confusus who was holdin a piece of cloth… “You own this Turr?” he asked… that bar went quiet as everyone was straining to hear what was going on… Turr looked at the cloth and sized it up real good … He passed it back to Confusus and answered, “no by’...haven’t seen that anywhere around here before.” With that Confusus says, “ I found this where the fire started.” Then he picked up the cloth and stalked outta the bar mumbling to himself…

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« Reply #3 on: May 19, 2006, 06:24:48 pm »

Salty started up on the piano again and Donna excused herself from Drummy… She went over to Blue and they shook their arses at the crowd as they sang along. Drummy wondered if they used Prep H and sipped his beer some more…

Outside of town the ranchers was settling in for the night…. The winds were blowing the leaves of the trees, fall was here… AngelB was in the barn unsaddling her horse when Gemma walked in... “How’s the horses doing? We haven’t lost any more to rustlers have we?”
“Not today,” AngelB said.” I think they gave up and moved on. I found the camp up in the hills between here and town, I also found and old torn up shirt that was half burned.”
“We’ll have to get Sheriff Confusus out here to look around… maybe he can catch them crooks,” Gemma grumbled and walked out of the barn. “Ya comin’ in for supper now??” she called back to AngelB …. She heard a “Yep” and went into the house….

Gemma was just finished setting the table when AngelB walked in with Confusus trailing behind her... she grabbed another plate down and asked,” What brings you out this evening Sheriff?”
Confusus tipped back his hat and pulled out the piece of cloth… before he could say a word AngelB says, “ I seen a shirt like that half burned up at that rustler’s camp!!!” A smile flashed and Confusus asked where the camp was… AngelB gave him directions but it was too dark by then to ride out… Confusus decided to wait til morning… he tipped his hat as he went outside and climbed up on his horse… “Thank you ladies,” He said as he rode off….

Back at Turr’s saloon the poker game had started again … the beers were flowin and the music was hoppin almost as fast as the dancing… Zamba had calmed down and was perched on a barstool sizing up the customers…

Just then there was a hootin N hollerin outside… Skimo and Lassie was on the booze again... they staggered into the saloon and ordered more beer!!… Turr looked over at Driver N he nodded ok ... So Turr poured up some brews and handed them to Skimo as Lassie was dancing all around the floor….

Everyone in the Saloon was having a great party til Turr finally called out and said it was time to go home…. Slowly they all started heading out the door... Driver had to sling Skimo over his shoulder and steer Lassie out the door… Turr told Salty to head on home as the last stragglers was heading out... He’d lock up himself tonight… and 30 minutes later all the lights on town was out…
The next morning as Shyish was ringing the school bell River came rushin up… “I needs yer help,” he said as she was hustling the kids inside…
“What kinda help ya need River?” Shyish asked…
“I needs ya to teach me grade 4… all them women keep writing me lub notes and I write back but they haven’t gotta clue what I wrote!!! I knows ya can help me and maybe ya wanta be my gull too??” he said with a wink and a grin….
Shyish put on her best school marm voice as she told River she’d help him to read as long as he left the gull thing alone… River thought to himself… she’d be his by Friday ... after all who could resist his tommey doolie??….

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« Reply #4 on: May 19, 2006, 06:26:33 pm »

Meanwhile Confusus headed up into the hills to find the rustler’s old camp… he had just topped the hill when he heard a ruckus going on and rode on over to take a look… he peeped through the bushes to see Whamel and Geezler wrestling over the last piece of bacon … they tumbled and rolled over to the edge of the brook… Whamel was flat on her Back with Geezler lookin like she had won... until she glanced up to see Confusus… she was shocked to see him and Whamel took advantage and flipped Geezler over backwards into the water… Geezler floundered in the water for a bit and came up coughin N sputtering to see Whamel shove the bacon in her mouth…. She smiled at Geezler as she chewed and swallowed... and Geezler looked over at Confusus and hollered, “ya friggen arse!!! Ya caused me to lose!!! What the hell ya doing peepin through the alders anyways!!!”

Confusus rode into the clearing and he apologized before he asked Geezler if she had seen anyone strange in the hills… “ Just a few people leading some cows into town,” she answered… while they was talking Whamel went over to the brook to wipe her face off… Geezler seen her and sneaked over to boot her in the arse… Whamel tumbled into the stream and came up cussin… Confusus figured he better get the hell outta there before he ended up wet too… he jumped on his horse and rode off once more…
He could hear the splashin as he went down into a gulley and shook his head…
Confusus hadn’t gone far when he found and old fire pit with a half burned shirt in it... it matched up with the rag he carried… it took a few minutes but he found the trail where they had rode off… he climbed up on his horse and followed them… he was determined to catch the buggers…

Back in Blueball Gulch… River had his spelling book out ... Shyish was leaning over to help him and he was having a good peep… “You sure ya won’t be my gull... I could make ya #42,” he leered….

Shyish straightened up and stared at River … “I will not be #42 for you or anyone!” she declared…

“How about #16?” he asked and she stomped off… “Women!! She’ll come around!” River thought… and went back to his spelling book...

Over at the Saloon... Turr was out at the woodpile choppin splits... The sweat poured down his back as he swung the axe and it looked like enough to last the day… He put the axe down... picked up his shirt and put it on... then piled the wood onto his arm... He was just about to toss the splits into the wood box when he spied a boot stickin out... he looked closer and see it was that friggen BeerGuzzler again… didn’t that feller have a bed to sleep in?? Turr Kicked Guzzler’s foot and woke him up… “Go home and get outta my woodbox ya fool!” Turr growled…

Guzzler wiped the sleep outta his eyes and asked, “The saloon open yet? I’m some thirsty.” He stood up and climbed out …

Turr couldn’t believe his ears... it was only 10 in the morning! “ I think you need some coffee not more beers… come in and I’ll make a pot.” And they went inside…

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« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2006, 06:27:33 pm »

The ladies of the evening was still sleeping and Turr told Guzzler he had to be quiet so he wouldn’t wake them… after all they needed to rest sometime...
Over across the street Kim was peepin out the window again... she had spied Boozie over by the hardware store… he was watching some cowgirl down the street and Kim wondered why he’d stay standing out in the rain like that… Boozie just stood there til the cowgirl got closer... the rain had turned her hair into a ball of curls tighter then an sos pad (ok so they weren’t invented yet... I don’t care...LOL)… she didn’t look to happy and Boozie wondered who she was….

She rode up to the general store … slid of the horse and tied it to the hitchin rail…. Kim got out her spyglasses for a better look… when the woman turned Kim recognized her as the one slung over Driver’s shoulder the night before... no wonder she looked rough after all the drinks she had swallowed at Turr’s Saloon… Kim put down the glasses and got her shawl.. this called fer some up close snoopin…

She hurried over to the general store while trying to dodge the rain puddles… and was almost there when her feet shot out from under her… the mud flew off her boots and slopped all up the side of Boozie’s pants as she fell with a big kersplash… Boozie couldn’t believe his eyes as Kim floundered in the puddle while trying to get to her feet…Finally she gave up and crawled over to the wooden steps to pull herself out of the mud…. She was covered from head to toe and Boozie cracked up... Kim gave him a rotten look and slipped and slid her way home to a hot bath...

Boozie looked down at his pants in amazement and went home to change into something clean… after all he didn’t want anyone to see him in such a mess and think he’d done it to himself…
Inside the general store the owner Bella was wondering what all that laughing had been about outside... she wished she coulda peeked but the customers was lined up and getting restless… She was rushing through and getting them out pretty quickly when Skimo came up and asked where the combs was to straighten out her curls… Bella pointed out the combs and Skimo paid her and left… So Bella ran to the door to see what had been going on just in time to see Boozie walking away covered in mud…

Kim washed herself off and let out the water in the tub... grabbed a towel, dried off and got dressed ... She slipped a little on the rug but managed to catch herself… there was no way she was going back outside til the mud dried up… she made herself a coffee and peeped out the window again…

Meanwhile up in the hills Confusus was hot on the trail of the rustlers… he had spotted them topping the next rise just after the raining stopped… he was dripping and wet but he wouldn’t slow down now that he knew he was so close to catching them… he figured he’d catch up around sunset maybe even quicker if they slowed down… he kept riding and lookin to make sure he didn’t lose the trail… he hadn’t gone far when he found a stray calf… it was bawlin for the mother but she was nowhere in sight… Confusus lassoed the calf and let it trail behind him.... he hoped it would stay quiet when he got closer to the friggen rustlers….
They was traveling along and the calf had been quiet for awhile... Confusus looked back and seen the calk was keeping up but it was tangled in something strange… he stopped to get a closer look and was amazed to see Geezler’s pussy wrapped around the calf’s neck... He thought about removing it but figured it was keeping the calk happy so he left it there and decided to ride on….

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« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2006, 06:28:36 pm »

Back at the saloon people were starting to drift in… Zamba had spent all morning rootin around fer her box... she finally found it under the bed squished up against an old slipper… she managed to crawl under the bed and get it out … but unsure which end was up so she placed it on her dresser and figured she get some feller to help her fiddle with it later…
Turr had finally gotten Guzzler to stay awake… he was propped onto a barstool talking to Blue who was waiting for Funnyface and Salty to show up… How could they dance without a piano player?? But Guzzler piped up that he would play if they didn’t get there soon… Blue says, “ Oh I didn’t know you played.”
‘I didn’t know either but give them a few drinks and I’ll wing it,” he says with a smirk….
Blue laughed and figured why not…. So Guzzler plunked his arse down on the piano bench and started playing (god knows what tune.. guzzler didn’t even know)… But Blue didn’t care, she’d had a few drinks and was half in the bag anyways… she was stompin around the floor and every now and then she’d kick up her leg like a horse trying to kick off its shoe… I think she was trying to be a rockette er sumptin…
Zamba came down the stairs and decided she dance along with Blue since she didn’t know how to fix her box yet… she was dancing up a storm when FunnyFace ran into the saloon… she ran up behind Turr… grabbed him and swung him around like she Fred Astair… “Turr!! We got trouble!! Salty was jumped last night and someone beat the tar outta him!! They kicked him in the gonads and the stepped on hic pointy finger!! He can’t play the doc says,” Funnyface was hysterical so Turr tossed a glass of water in her face (he didn’t wanta slap her eh) … She stopped mid sentence and just stared at Turr… then he asked where Salty was… Funnyface pointed out the door and said, “He’s still at the doc’s office.”
So Turr says he’d be right back and headed over to Doc Boozie’s office…. There he found Salty and Boozie arguing … Salty was trying to get dressed and head to the saloon and Boozie was saying it was too soon that Salty needed to rest for a few days… Turr told Salty to go home and rest and that Guzzler was fillin in for him for a few days… Now Salty wasn’t too happy about some other feller tickling his ivory but what was he supposed to do… So he laid back down and gave up the struggle..

Turr said, “I’ll see ya in a few days Salty” and he left the office and headed out back across the road to tend to the bar… Salty rolled over and reached for the ice bag to stop the bruising… he’d find out who jumped him and pay the buggers back…

Up in the hills Confusus was gaining ground on the rustlers… as he got closer he was amazed to see some women in the group… he thought he recognized some of them from town... then he seen what looked like the boss and couldn’t believe his eyes ... It was River and he had Corrupted, Whamel, and Butterfly with him… Confusus almost fell off his horse in shock... who would have guessed that the rustler gang was River and his gulls?Huh
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« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2006, 06:30:06 pm »

Well Confusus straightened up in the saddle and shook his head… he liked all of them but rustling was a crime and he had to capture them… he decided to wait until they was sleeping... after all the was only one of him and 4 of them… He decided to have a rest and be ready for what was to come later… Confusus got down of his horse and tied it and the calf to a tree... he didn’t want them wandering off and alerting River and the Gulls….

Back in town things were starting to hop in Turr’s saloon… Drummy was offering to help Zamba fix her box and she was delighted… she led him upstairs to show him where it was and handed him the glue… they was gone for a bit but when they came back down to the bar Zamba was smiling and telling everyone she was as good as new… Drummy grinned and tucked his prep h back in his pocket as he sat down… He called for another beer and tapped his feet to Guzzler’s piano playing…

Night was setting in as Confusus woke up from his sleep… the owls hooted as they started on the lookout for mice to eat … the birds were settling into their nests… it was peaceful not but not for long… Confusus saddled his horse and gathered up his stuff ... he wondered if he should leave the calf tied there and decided he could tie it closer to the rustler’s camp without it waking them … as he traveled closer he listened for any disturbance in the nightlife… he was almost in the camp when he tied the calf and horse up again... it was quieter on foot….

Meanwhile River was sound asleep with his spelling book on his chest… Whamel was curled up beside him … every now and then she moaned a she slept, River always thought she was thinking of him and who was she to burst his bubble?? Butterfly had fallen asleep closer to the fire as it was a chilly night and she hated to be cold… Corrupted was nodding off, she tried to stay awake on guard duty but the long day had taken it toll on her… Confusus waited until he was sure that they were all asleep before he made his move….





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« Reply #8 on: May 22, 2006, 01:02:03 am »

I remember Turr askin if anyone wanted to finish da story.I was glad when no one did.Somehow it just didn't seem right fer it to be finished by us.

I look forward to readin it agin.No time so far.

Thank you DC fer postin it fer us.
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